Friday, March 14, 2008

I am

Eden Grace getting her fingers dirty in the garden.

I am a mother,
a wife,
a sister, 
a daughter,
a best friend
a soul's mate.
I am a soul's mate to Clay.
He is more than I ever dreamed.
I love that he knows how to romance me.
He romances me by...
coming home early from work,
dancing with me in the most random of places,
gardening with me,
and just being beside me.
I am a quality time person.
I am not won any other way than just spending time with me.
If you invest in enough time with me you will also find out I am an open book.
You pretty much get what you see for the most part.  
I do hold back some ugliness in my brain from time to time that probably isn't nice to share with everyone.
I love that there are certian people in my life that I can call and reveal that ugliness to at any given time.  
I love that these people love me inspite of my ugly thoughts.
These people have dirty basements as well and I love them for it too.
I am becoming more okay every day with my dirty house.  
It is simply the stage I am in life.
It really isn't DIRTY it is simply kid clutter and a bit earthy.
I am earthy most days.  This is who I am becoming. Earth Momma.
I am more comfortable in my skin right now than I have ever been.
I love the earth between my fingers.
I am a gardener.  
I am  a front porch sitter.
I love my wind chimes - it says spring to my soul.
I love opening all the windows and doors in my house and letting the wind whip through the halls and rooms.
I love leaving the windows open until it is too hot or too cold to stand it.
I love the smell of spring, rain, cut grass and dirt.
I am learning to love the smell of children who have played outdoors all day long.
I love watching Eden use her tiny fingers to investigate dirt for the first time.
I love witnessing Payton teaching herself how to swing all alone.
I love seeing freckles form on young faces from the kiss of sunshine.
I love curly hair.
I hate my curly hair at times.
I love getting my hair cut.
I love having my hair shampooed at the salon.
I love having my hair dried at the salon.
I hate washing and drying my own hair.
I don't like taking showers everyday.  
I usually shower every other day.
I do love bars of soap and how they smell.
I love taking a bath and reading but usually only get one or so a year.
I want a big, deep, bathtub.  One that the water will cover my entire body and not just the bottom half.
I love the smell of a bookstore.
I love new books.
I am a book lover.
I almost always have more than 2-3 books going at all times.
I almost always have more than 2-3 projects going at all times.
I am an artist.
I am a photographer,
a painter,
a decorator,
not an illustrator.
I am a teacher,
an instructor,
a blogger.
I am a thrift store shopper
and a garage saler.
I love Saturday morning
garage saling with my family.
I love Saturday morning farmers markets.
I love Starbuck's early in the morning with my family.
I am a peppermint mocha drinker.
I am a classic coffee cake eater.
I am a spring and fall person.
I am a dreamer.
I am a magazine junkie.
I love my "Cottage Living".
I live vicariously through my magazines.
I am an old soul.
I want to live in a cottage.
I want to name my cottage.
I want to know all of my neighbors.
I want to live outside.
I am me.

I completely stole this idea from a fellow blogger and former high school buddy, Brooke Howell.  Thank you Brooke.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Angels in Waiting

Bear with me while I set up this may take a bit of verbage...
Well it has been a long four or five days ( I honestly don't remember what day it is today). On Saturday evening Payton came down with a fever. She had played outside all day with Clay and I assumed she just got overheated or sunburned. Sunday morning we had church on the front porch with some Starbucks, paint and paintbrush and a book. It was so good for my soul and I think it is just what I needed before the crazy next couple of hours. About nine o'clock Sunday evening Payton was sleeping in my arms with a very HIGH fever (104ish) and awoke very scared and disorented. She kept asking for her momma and didn't know who I was. It was tremendously scary in that moment. I am the MOMMA!!! She is always supposed to know who I am!!! So off to the ER we went. There is an Emergent Care place close to our home that we hopped over to and they had locked their doors early. So then we headed to Saint Francis. And let me just tell you I HATE ER's, probably because until summer before last I had never had to sit in one for myself. If I had ever been in one, it was because I was there waiting for someone else. By the time we got to the ER Payton knew what was going on and who we were. They gave her some Motrin and told us to have a seat.

So here is where the real story starts. While we are waiting and making Payton drink water like she has never drank water before (that was the problem, she was dehydrated), a girl in her early twenties walked into the ER waiting area from the back where she had seen a doctor. It looked as though she had injured her foot and possibly broke it. Honestly she was super scary looking, probably a little strung out on drugs and moving into a hangover. She plopped her self into a chair and began crying. Others around her were pointing and snickering. She picked up the phone and made a phone call, and another, and another. Phone call after phone call we witnessed yelling and screaming on our end to the person on the other end. Obsenities that were making the waiting room people a little antsy in their seat were coming off her tongue right and left. Finally a police officer came out and confronted her with what was going on and tried to calm her down. She began yelling at him and telling about what had happened and that she had got drunk and now had a broken foot. At that point Payton's attention was fully on her. And I was amazed. She looked at that girl with the eyes of such innocence and love. Payton began to ask, "Momma, is that girl okay? Is her leg going to be okay? Why is she crying and sad?" My heart just sank. Here is this precious child who is super sick now fully engaged with worry about this upset and hurting woman. At that point we decide to pray for the girl - NO we didn't go and ask her to pray with us...:) we just sat quietly in our chairs and asked that "someone" come along and take care of her and show her Jesus' love.

So they called us back into the actual ER - for another round of waiting and testing. By then Payton was doing fine with a good dose of Motrin and a ton of water and we were more than ready to go home. Meanwhile some of our dearest friends were sitting out in the car with Eden so that we didn't have to bring her into the sickness. At one point I had to hop out into the car and nurse her. As I was coming back in the girl with the foot problem was begging the officer to take her to jail because she just didn't want to sit in the ER any longer.

They released us soon after 1:00am and we headed to the car. Once again on the way out we passed the girl who was sitting at the door. She looked up and began to ask us to take her home, but then saw we had little ones. As we walked out Payton asked what was going to happen to that girl and wondered if she was going be okay. I think then and there Clay and I knew we were the "someone" that we had prayed earlier for in the waiting room to come and help this girl and show her some compassion. We piled into the car and Clay told me that he had about 20 something dollars on him and maybe we should give her some money for a cab. So we drove to the front door and Clay hopped out and gave her money which she then tried to refuse. We litterally would have loaded her up in the car with us had it not already been full with Clay, Kaytie Jo, Eden, Payton and I. She took the money finally. I pray that she got home, that in some way we comfortated her.

As I look back on this night that for me seemed really hard, and I realize that maybe God was using us for someone who had it much harder than we did. Maybe Payton got sick to the point that we had to go to the ER, and maybe Emergent Care closed early so that we had to go to St. Franicis, so that we had to be sitting in that waiting room at that moment so that we could be used in this way. I know that I had angels waiting on me that night out in the car with my precious Eden, and maybe we were her angels on Sunday night. They always say hindsight is 20/20 and mine sure is. There are probably several things I would have done differently now looking back but I am thankful for the experience, for my little girl's innocent, empathetic heart and for the ablitily to listen to what the spirit is telling me to do.